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the_hiddenness_of_ministry (friday_reflections)

we recently walked through an exercise called the 360 review with the sojourn and reunion staffs. the process was fun, interesting, challenging, and affirming as we got feedback on our strengths and weaknesses from those we lead, work alongside of, and who lead us.

a couple of things struck me, not the least is that even among those we work with the closest, ministry (what we actually do on a day to day basis) can be hard to define and even harder to see. i grew up in the church, and as a pastors kid, i've heard all the jokes about how great it must be to be a pastor (because you only have to work on sundays!).

that of course is not true (or at least it better not be), but it can be really easy to mistake our public work for our only work. even for the teachingest of teaching pastors, the majority of the work we do is listening, learning from from people, serving alongside others, and being attentive to the needs of our community. it is not glamorous and the majority never get to see it. and it can be hard to talk about if we are honest. 

we share "wins" at the beginning of each staff meeting and this is really great as it helps us "see" what is happening all across the ministry, but there is so much that gets left out too. not every interaction, every cup of coffee, every challenging conversation, every "get it" moment gets to be shared. not even our co-workers get to see all that we do. and sometimes that can be frustrating.

the reality is a good portion of what pastors do never gets noticed. we can begrudgingly acknowledge it and probably feel a little cynical about this reality, or we can joyfully accept the mystery of the hidden work we do and see it as an opportunity for growth in humility that is built in to our vocation. 

the other side of this is that "hiddenness" protects our vocation and leaves us with something authentic to offer others. no one has said this better than henri nouwen, so i'll end this post with his thoughts from reaching out:

"there is a false form of honesty that suggests that nothing should remain hidden and that everything should be said, expressed and communicated. this honesty can be very harmful, and if it does not harm, it at least makes the relationship flat, superficial, empty, and often very boring. when we try to shake off our loneliness by creating a milieu without limiting boundaries, we may become entangled in a stagnating closeness.

"it is our vocation to prevent the harmful exposure of our inner sanctuary, not only for our own protection but also as a service to our fellow human beings with whom we want to enter in a creative communion. just as words lose their power when they are not born out of silence, so openness loses its meaning when there is no ability to be closed."