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behold mcrae...

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- shooting project: revelation

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updates and happenings...

- thanksgiving is upon us...amy and i will be heading to philadelphia to spend the holiday with amy's good friend (and now my good friend) diana and her mom.  should be a fantastic time.

- before that though, the great ryan mcrae will be in town on his way to vermont for his family's thanksgiving festivities.  it will be great to see the best man and show him around the town a bit.

- our community group is starting to find it's stride now...for a brand new group i think we are doing really well and already it's so fun to see relationships forming and a bunch of people turn into an authentic community that knows each other and cares for each other.  also, i'm so proud of our group for the way we've stepped up to help out quincy street with thanksgiving baskets.  everyone has been extremely generous.

- i became officially barista certified this week!  way to go steve.

- i'll be helping some friends shoot a film this weekend.  as it happens, i will playing the main character, which is kind of funny and fun.  check out the project and what these guys have done previously here: sentinel films

i think that's it...have a great week and happy thanksgiving.  peace!

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- pics of the week:

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there are about a million ways that i am proud of my wife but today i feel especially proud of her.  when amy started going to reunion she immediately became involved with sojourn and their partner ministry at quincy street (about a mile from our house).  it's been great to hear, and now see, her become part of the team doing ministry there, build relationships with the kids in the neighborhood, and, over the last couple of weeks, start tutoring Destiny.

last year she also had the opportunity to connect some fellow physical therapy students from BU with quincy street.  they've had a play day and also a gift program last christmas.  today she was able to bring eight students down to the neighborhood for another play day.  it was so much fun watching everyone interact with the kids (16 today, which is a great turnout), and it was wonderful to see the kids having so much fun.  

i am so proud of amy for introducing her classmates (many of whom could go through the whole program without ever having to think about dorchester, let alone visit it) to this neighborhood.  and, i am grateful that these students have made the effort to come down on these occasions and really get into playing with the kids.  

way to go amy!

ps. i am not so proud of myself for bringing my camera with no batteries, which means no pictures...dang!!!

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shameless plug: if you vote on tuesday, go to Starbucks, tell them you voted and you can get a free tall cup of coffee...

and remember that even more important than voting on november 4th is acting justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly on 11/4/08, 11/05/08, 11/06/08, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc.

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fun with beth!!!

- sam adams =)

- fall is here!

- fenway park

- harvard

- happy birthday nina!

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sometimes i wonder: "what the heck will i write about this week?" you never know where the inspiration will come from...this week it came from jason mraz.

amy and i saw mraz last night at the orpheum theater. i've seen him three times and the first two were good experiences: i've always been really impressed with his abilities live (the man can flat out sing). but i sometimes find his neo-hippie/existential hedonist philosophies on life to be a little silly. and there was some of that last night...plus some blatant pro-obama propaganda that felt misplaced. however, i felt that last night went beyond a good show by a talented guy and became somewhat of a spiritual moment, especially at the end.

he closed the show with a song that amy and i both really appreciate: a beautiful mess.

more on that, but first, some context...i've spent most of the week dealing with a family in my after-school program that has some deep, deep gnarly stuff going on and is in an extreme state of denial about most of it. that is hard to see and impossible to deal with adequately in our program. this family had been kind of sucking me dry emotionally all week with their inability to deal with, or even admit to, their issues.

then on friday night, jason starts talking about how we all make messes of our lives and then we try to dress it up, which he calls "picking up trash in dresses" in one of the lines of the song. i've watched that all week.

he closed the show by urging everyone to "keep practicing kindness, practice gratitude." after watching him sing that song (another great line: "we've torn our dresses and stained our shirts"), it seemed more profound than some of the shallow sentiment i've heard from him before and entirely apropos to my week.

i continue to live a weird life: making 5 dollar drinks for people who live in beacon hill and mentoring/educating kids who live in roxbury. two worlds that couldn't be farther apart. and yet in both places, and we all do it, we wear dresses and walk around in trash. i guess all i'm trying to say is it was refreshing to hear someone call that out.

thanks jason.

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book report...

...my schedule over the past several months has not been conducive to my normal reading habits. nonetheless, i have been able to read some books, and a few great ones at that. here are five recommendations (in no particular order).

1) The Search: How Google and Its Rivals Rewrote the Rules of business and Transformed Our Culture first of all, this book is very well written and tells what could be a boring story in a very interesting and compelling way (i.e. Malcolm Gladwell books). second, you will learn things about how a service (internet search) that you probably use every day, multiple times, actually works. i had no idea how google works and makes its bazillion dollars until i read this book. third, you will also learn some interesting theories on what the not too distant future may hold for you as a consumer (the section on grocery shopping will blow your mind). finally, the book raises the obligatory questions of how much power one company could or should have, as well as pointing out the inevitable compromises that come from doing business in the global economy. fascinating stuff.

2) The Fortress of Solitude

top five favorite novels:

1) everything is illuminated

3) the catcher in the rye

4) my name is asher lev

5) the kid from tomkinsville

...number 2 is now the fortress of solitude. lethem wanders in a couple of points, but otherwise weaves a masterful coming of age story that deals with race, superheroes, growing up in the city, and is ultimately a beautiful story of friendship. one of those books that you hate to see end and are somewhat sad that you will never get to read again for the first time.

3) A Community Called Atonement a short book but in no way a light read. each chapter is about 5-8 pages long, but i could only read it a chapter at a time because i had to put it down and think about what i'd just read. this book was fun for me to read because it reminded me of being in seminary. beyond that it is one of the most well-thought out and scholarly efforts to articulate an emerging theology. and mcknight is more than up to the task. he is brilliant but earthy and clearly in touch with "real world" issues beyond the walls of academia (although extremely well versed and well read). this one is going on the shelf of the indispensables and is highly recommended to anyone who wants something intellectually stimulating to read.

4) Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile in some ways a great counterpoint to mcknight. not in topic/thesis, but in approach. the genius of rob bell is his ability to take somewhat esoteric theology, or at least stuff that you only hear about in seminary and theological articles, and make it accessible to anyone. his books are easy to read both in the language and the way they are laid out. i have not finished the book so i have yet to formulate a final opinion. but i am enjoying where he is going with it. (in case you are wondering the book is essentially a defense of New Exodus theology).

5) Wide Awake bottom line, don't read mcmanus when you are in the midst of a major life transition. you just might end up in southwest colorado, or africa, or something like that. erwin examines eight "paths" that lead you to live the life of your dreams. one thing i appreciate about him is that he never sugarcoats anything in a "do these three things and you will be healthy, wealthy, and wise." rather, each path seems to lead through hard times in a process of character formation. exciting, i know, but when he writes about you want to go do great things to change the world. not as impactful on my thinking as some other things he's written, but eerily perfect for this stage of my life.

coming attractions: Tell It Slant by Eugene Peterson...the latest in a series of practical theology books that have been excellent. i can't wait to start it this week.

happy reading!

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reflections on sarah's post...

...i have definite pacifist leanings.  i'll admit that upfront.  i don't know that i am fully committed to the position yet, but i do know that i can't, in good conscience, support the idea of redemptive violence (despite my love affair with mafia movies, vigilante movies, jack bauer, etc).  

nonetheless, i found the following experience to be informative, troubling, and thought-provoking.  two kids in my after school program were play wrestling while we were outside on the playground yesterday (friday).  what started as fourth grade playfulness (between two pretty good buddies) quickly turned in to a real fight with punching and kicking and hurt feelings.  it was quickly broken up and i found myself sitting on a bench with both of them on either side of me.

i explained to them how there is no fighting allowed at bird street, that they would be spending a certain amount of time out with me, and that they needed to apologize and promise to keep their hands off each other for the rest of our outside time.  "yes, mr. steve," they said.  when their time was up and apologies had been offered and accepted i sent them off for the final moments of outside play.  immediately one of them (the shorter, stockier one) ran over to the other (taller) kid and punched him right in the gut.  

"what are you doing?" i exclaimed.  "my dad told me to hit people who picked on me," the kid  said.  "really," i thought, feeling i might have picked up the hint of a kid trying to pull one over on me.  

when his dad came to pick him up we had a good conversation, but the father's bottom line was: "yes, we're teaching him to hit back," and his big line: "he's not going to be any one's punching bag."  the dad went on to explain that his son has always been undersized and has been picked on a lot, much of it physically by kids bigger than him.  his dad finally had enough and began putting him in self-defense classes and teaching him how to fight back and encouraging him to do so.  he also told me that, "in this community you have to be strong...if you show weakness you'll get eaten alive."

hmmm...

what do i do with this?  on the one hand i agree with the dad...i don't want this kid to go through school suffering beat down after beat down.  i also know what he means about being assertive...what was considered a "life" skill in the world i grew up in is really a "survival" skill here.

but on the other hand i totally disagree with this father.  how is teaching a kid fighting skills really going to change anything?  the Gandhian quote applies here: "an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind."

which leads me to the definition of justice...i think a lot of times justice is thought of about in this way: get rid of injustice, get rid of violence, get rid of oppressive situations, etc, or get back at the one oppressing you.  it's all about eliminating unjust conditions or simply trying to get some measure of restitution.  i think it's more than that...it's not about avoiding bad things, it's about creating opportunities to be good.  i hope that for this student, bird street, at least, can be a place where he can be good...where he doesn't have to worry about hitting back or standing up for himself, because, at least in that space, he is safe and respected and taken care of.  that is a more compelling vision of justice, in my opinion, than just standing up for oneself or revenge.

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sports thoughts...

- the red sox have their work cut out for them this october to pull off the repeat, but it's going to be fun to be here while they try.

- the giants will likely to do one dramatic thing this off season (no sure yet what it's going to be)

- i finished second in my yahoo winner's league.  this is a small miracle considering the hole i got myself in during the may-june stretch of neglect my team experienced.  my two great regrets on the season: i contemplated adding carlos quentin to my opening day roster and i didn't...i ended up trading for him much later in the season...could have had him for free.  also, i had ryan ludwick for a day in april and then dropped him...and he went on to have a ridiculous season.  if i had kept those two guys, i might have pulled off the repeat!  nonetheless, i still won my college buddies' league for the second year in a row.

- the premier league is off and running and arsenal is once again at the top of the standings...and once again we'll see if they can actually stay there this year.

- usc broke our hearts this week =(  otherwise, i don't really care about football.

- amy and i got to go to a Revolution game this saturday.  so much fun!  (mls soccer for those who are wondering).  if anyone wants to help kick in for season tickets for '09 let me know (only 700-900 bucks).

peace

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boston observations

- the radio stations play lots of 90's music...lots of it...pearl jam, nirvana, sublime, red hot chili peppers, etc, etc.

- this is the most humid place i've ever lived (also the weather here is crazy in general...even more so than colorado)

- lots of bad drivers

- many excellent places to eat

- good/interesting public transportation

- not very mexican friendly

- sports=life...not just the fact that the teams are really good (which they are), there are a lot of active people (running, biking, hiking) too

- people who live in cambridge and beacon hill (and places like that) are essentially disconnected from life in dorchester/roxbury/jamaica plain

- people don't know how to say "oregon" and also say a lot of other word weird too

- dreyers=edy's

- the red line is way faster than the green

- the mayor's name is on everything

- there are a lot of huge catholic churches

- sprinkles (that one would put on ice cream) are called "jimmies"

- people definitely dress differently than in california...and that's not because of the weather...it's hard to describe, but it is kind of fun to make fun of (for example: pink polo shirts with popped collars)

- there aren't many old people in the city

- the roads have tolls (lame) and the streets are not always clearly marked (frustrating)

...and a bunch of other stuff, but i think that's it for now.

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so, something that's been difficult about living in the city has been dealing with the reality of "hollerin'"...this is a phenomenon where a male will "holla" at a female using a variety of methods including words, whistles, and body gestures.  the goal is to let the female know that she is physically appealing to the male.  awesome.

consider the following examples:

1) tiffany, my TA at Bird Street, gets "holla'd" at every time we take the kids outside.  it's pretty ridiculous, and she has a good sense of humor about it, it's become somewhat of a running joke, but is still totally inappropriate...do these guys not see the 20+ kids running around and realize that maybe then is not the time?  then, and this is not funny to me, one of the parents called her on our school phone to ask her out.  

2) on sunday, walking home from church, some dude yells at me: "hey man, your girlfriend's beautiful."  i said, "that's my wife, knock it off!!!"  and then he had a bunch of other things to say, most of which i didn't hear as he was (luckily) on the other side of the street.  and he was probably only 16!  what the heck.  amy was grateful for the "protection" but also glad i didn't get punched in the face.

3) i've even seen at starbucks on charles street (a very different area of boston!)...our manager had to ask a guy to leave because of some of the things he was saying to my co-worker abby.

all this in the span of one week.  i'm sure most, probably all, the female can offer their own examples, i've just been a little overwhelmed with the concentration of incidents here in the last couple of days.

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- wrapping up my first week of "full-time" work between starbucks and bird street...it's been busy but fun: learning drinks, getting to know the kids, seeing two very different parts of boston.  it's tiring but i am enjoying it.

- tomorrow we'll be with the quincy street gang.  check out our friend kim's blog.  she had some fun stuff related to quincy street on there.

- also, you could, dear readers, pray for amy and i as we attempt to make a rather large life decision.

- last: i really, really, really dislike the back and forth sniping between presidential camps (all in the name of "campaigning"), but in the middle of that both candidates do have some insightful things to say (you have to do some sifting, but after a while you find gold).  anyway, here's Obama on the community organizing comments that got me riled up (just click on the thumbnail):

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some updates and thoughts after a busy week...

- school has started which means i have officially begun my work as the site coordinator for one of bird street's after school programs.  i am at the nathan hale elementary school and it's already a bit crazy.  one of my TA's got a different job yesterday, so i'm understaffed right off the bat.  also, i feel like we have not been prepared well at all.  i am struggling with finding a balance between "humble new guy in a different culture," and "knowing a 100 better ways to run this program."

- furthermore, the decision was made a few weeks ago to make all site-coordinators part time (26 hours a week)...i am discovering that this might not be enough hours to actually do this job well!  nonetheless, it also isn't enough hours to meet our household budgetary requirements so i have been searching for other jobs.  a good possibility would be to sub at a high school down the street from the elementary school...however, that vision may not be realized for weeks, if not months, due to the extremely slow moving behemoth that is the Boston Public Schools.  so, i will be donning an apron starting monday, and embarking on yet another random job in a long line of random jobs: starbucks barrista!

- amy and i have a lot of cool church opportunities developing as well.  we are strengthening our connection to the quincy street/sojourn community that live close by and we are really excited about some of the relationships forming there.  we are going on a leadership retreat with them (sojourn) this weekend.  we also will be leading a small group through reunion starting up in a couple of weeks.  the community pastor has been heavily recruiting me to help with many aspects of small groups in reunion.  finally, hank, the lead pastor, and i have been able to connect and he invited me to a church planting forum at the end of the month, so that should be fascinating!

- finally, i've been following the convention(s) coverage in an attempt to be well-rounded and well-informed.  i'm afraid it's just making me more cynical.  all this talk of change and non-partisan/bi-partisan politics and it sure feels like business-as-usual to me.  like i said, i'm trying to be open to both sides in order to make a well-informed decision (as a registered independent i'm a coveted voter in this election!), but i have to say the republicans turned me off big time when they started dissing Obama's community organizer background.  do they not know what a community organizer does?  certainly there are legitimate questions about his "lack" of experience, but to me this shows just how far out of touch republicans are with the inner-city.  yikes!

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- a small world story...

thursday i was sitting in a coffee shop on newbury street talking with someone from church.  in the middle of the conversation he paused and slyly nodded towards another table.  "i think that guy is reading a christian book," he told me.  i looked over, half expecting to see Blue Like Jazz or something by Rob Bell, but it turned out to be Responsible Stewardship of God's Creation by Ken Gnanakan.  Ken is the founder of ACTS ministries in Bangalore, India, a ministry I visited a couple of years ago (amy has been there as well), and long time partner with SVCC.  apparently, the fellow reading the book heard Ken speak at Gordon-Conwell and is fascinated by what he is doing in India.  Ben, my new friend, and I are having coffee on tuesday.  nice!  

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- not a well thought out post, so bear with me...

- camp is over!  it was a lot of fun, but i am ready to transition in the school year program.  however, as i make this transition i've had some time to reflect on the summer and some of my early observations from living in dorchester and working at bird street.  i find that as far as work goes, i oscillate between hope and despair often...

- for example, this week, for the first time all summer justin's dad came to pick him up from camp.  normally his aunt takes him home, but, for whatever reason, on this day his dad came and the kid was pumped.  justin has struggled all summer with choosing his words well, especially when he gets frustrated.  i have talked to him several times about which words are acceptable while at bird street and which words are not.  so, it was incredibly discouraging when his dad rolled up in his escalade, with the music pounding, and yelled out the window: "get in the f*&#ing car dummy!"  and it goes on and on, stories like this one.  joao, the kid with jimmies all over his face, had his wallet stolen on friday, etc etc.  these moments of ugliness always juxtaposed with the face of a kid totally enjoying himself, lost in a world far removed from some of the harsh realities of "normal" life.

- i've observed many reactions to the idea of inner-city ministry.  however, two stand out in my mind.  one is exemplified by a conversation i had with someone at our wedding reception.  this woman came up to me and said: "it's so great that you are going to be working with 'those' people in the inner-city.  i only support overseas missionaries, but 'they' need Jesus too, in the city."  i call this the "overseas missions is more important but i guess the inner-city needs Jesus too" perspective.

- the other side of the coin, in my experience, is the wide-eyed naivete of mostly young white people (myself very much included in this critique) who see working with kids in the inner-city as this amazingly radical and "pure" ministry.  

- of course, the reality is lies somewhere in the middle of all this...i wrote a couple of weeks ago about the beauty and the ugliness at the beach, and that is really the story of my summer.  there is both incredible beauty and incredible ugliness in working at a place like bird street.  the realities of the inner-city really expose many of the atrocities of our society but also bring out some of the best kingdom moments possible on this side of heaven.  the mature perspective, i think, is the one that can hold those realities in tension and keep choosing to love.

- we've been talking, at church, about having hearts that break over the things that break God's heart, and i think that is ultimately what happens when you serve in this context.  i hope i brought some light into the world's of the people and especially the kids i worked with this summer, but more importantly i think i've gained some insight into some of the things that break God's heart.

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another camp story...

maybe i'm pumped from all the swimming i've been watching, maybe i'm tired of all the "camp drama" that takes place at the beach, or maybe i just needed to do something to get the attention of the boys in my unit.  but, today, i swam across the lake and back.  

ok, not all the way across (which is not all that far to be honest), but out to a buoy in the middle of the lake.  interpretations of this endeavor are all a matter of perspective.  my father, and my wife, would have laughed at my rusty stroke, my gasps for air, and the pace that fell off dramatically as the swim wore on.  if you were to ask my boys, however, they would tell you about my feat of strength, about the great distance i swam, and the snapping turtles i fought off to get there.

an exaggeration perhaps, but i don't think they've ever seen anyone swim that far before!

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- a 3 minute look at what i've been doing this summer...enjoy!

- so the quality of the video is somewhat muddled with the youtube compression.  it actually looks a lot better than that.  here are my ten favorite pics from the video.

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- a cool story and pop culture updates...

story: the morning amy and i moved in we were greeted by our neighbor Leroy, who lives across the street from us.  Leroy often sits on his porch and watches over our street.  the first thing i observed about Leroy was the long-stem, hand carved pipe he was smoking.  he immediately held my interest!  over the weeks we've had many brief conversations, but i never mentioned my own pipe smoking tendencies.  finally, i drummed up the courage and i said, "Leroy we need to smoke one of these days."  we then discussed the beauty of pipes and where to by tobacco in boston.  the next day when i got home from work, Leroy was on the porch as usual and he called out, "hey steve, i got something for you."  he then produced a bag of cavendish and handed it to me.  sweet!

updates: jonathan lethem is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors.  the fortress of solitude is outstanding.  also, while on the topic of books, scot mcknight is quickly becoming one of my favorite theologians.  

i love the new coldplay album.  i think they get better with each album...a rarity for bands.  also, check out amy crawford...our friend in boston (via pacific grove...small world).  we got to see her last night. 

last, but not least, i finally saw the new batman...creepy...still can't decide if it was such a unique experience because the movie was good or because watching a posthumous performance was so weird.